2012年7月15日星期日

Exchange happy

Exchange happy life down, everything have already destined, don't redeem.Remember once saying clearly, we bore come already not free, because whether we can not choose their our own births or not or choose to living where, the square ones of life all drive force of, so we have no freedom forever, have to endurance and have to wait for.But all of all theses are predestinations, didn't redeem.It is the only important person in my life clearly.I am an orphan, mother because of living me difficult produce and die, father also because a life time of leaving of mother soon then Yu Yu but eventually.I am own indeterminable life experience, I have to wait for, and waiting for that can bring me a happy person.I the time in orphanage, clear plays together with me, however he isn't the person of orphanage, Be just his father is the director of orphanage just.I 5-year-old that year, his father left orphanage and conveniently received me his house was also.Hence I became his younger sister.He is very good to me, I lead long his father's dress Cape to walk into the time of his unfamiliar house, he carries to come a bowl of steaming hot Huang Hua vegetable soup noodles, I shed tears all of a sudden.BE not from the eye inside, from the in the mind.He is very good to me, like close younger sister's sort.But I have been having no took him for my elder brother, probably is because of that noodle soup.Then we gradually grow up, I tell myself, originally have been insisting thinking that the reason that he isn't my elder brother was just that bowl of to appear a yellow flower vegetable soup just in my life noodles, I stubbornly insist, just believing to live head quarters to bring me 1 can give I happily person, I have already found out, is the host of that noodles.Is 13 years old, I tell myself, I love him.We are together living, I have been lookinging at him an in love of time,mens sunglasses always die without being ill.See coming back of his whole body covered with wounds each time, I always deplore greatly very much,does everybody want to get hurt for oneself's lover?My love to him probably forever the love that can be in my life, not what his ability knows.He always says in a flash namely the abyss of time, but I can not believe.Also appeared many good men in my life, but I can not respond to, I know my heart in already forever pack next he, can not fall in love with other people again.I say this person to I, I want to stay by the side a lifetime, a lot of time he smiles ask I why have been having no boyfriend, I want to tell him that my loving person is him, but is had no smiling of city mansion by his heart each time to dissolved to go to courage.Is clear and I am that kind of believe one a life time happy person, he always says that he wants to find out he in the clout that to bring him from cradle to the grave happy person, I tell him me to be also waiting for, at this time his head quarter touches my head to say that well, let's wait together.He doesn't know that what I wait for is the happy man who delivers personally to change me with a bowl of yellow flower vegetable soup in 24 year agos.Always etc., I can wait until him to no longer expect.But he finally welcomed he to love a life person, I knew, he is earnest this time.Finally at I 29 years old at he at the age of 32, he is married, the bride isn't me.That happy woman matches each other very much with him.I then and resolutely moved away that my reside for 24 years after he got married and refused he and the some time exceed a requesting father to stay of.I am very clear, stay to just distress over there.They have been having no kid.I continue for remembering fondly him in the another head of of city, I know his life is very mild and sweet, I know that to have been happiness that I hope earnestly as well.His father soon died, this standing alone old man brought me the important person in the life, although he didn't give° him me, and I also appreciate him from cradle to the grave and regard as him my own father, although I always all call his uncle.His leave a life time and give me a to see a clear opportunity again, I took part in burial rites, as a daughter.Looking at his wife favour inside busy outside of, I have been thinking, that is in fact what I have been wanting to do, is just that the this present life perhaps had no opportunity.After his father dies, I also feel that the life was like to disappear for a while a lot of and finally and soon confirmed oneself to suffer from cancer, at I am 37 years old.Have next request in the him and his cuckoldry, I move to pass by to live together with them, there is looking after.Looking at them every day happy sweet day, I always feel that I is like a superfluous person.Lucky BE, the cancer cell spread, probably can end this unbearable life like this, I can not choose to ownly living, can I not also choose my own dead?I entered a hospital, he had been accompanying me, if isn't an every noon his wife send to rice to come over, I all probably will forget the husband whom he is other people and think to is mine.He has been staying by the side me, we all speak the business in childhood every day, all is that he is speaking, speak he in childhood how protects me, how help me last tree to take off fruit, how catch dragonfly for me;I just listen to quietly he speak, have never reminded his all of those matters are that he pulls to ascend me to go to, afraid his a person be scolded by the father.I am just thinking, this kind of is calm a life to have been descending go to like, I suddenly didn't think and then leave this man like this.However I know, I come down and then is subjected to curse from cradle to the grave, the destiny can't give me the opportunity.Occurrence in the tragedy head quarter nearby loves most at me of person.Is true, that took place.His wife sent rice to carelessly take place to us at one inside noon traffic accident, be him receive dozen in the police station the telephone for coming over, the otherses all collapsed, he threw away a telephone to run to go out.Led for a week, he came back, I see his whole individuals all lose the 1 turn, his wood however ground smile to me and say this under depend on each other for life for two of us.I admit that I am very selfish, I fight to the death not to feel very sad to his cuckoldry, although she is very good to me;But I am to can not forgive his whichever woman.I know that I is a cruel woman, I know I is accept order of curse, I know that this am the predestination, I know that the all theses all come to a bad a final outcome, I know that I didn't redeem from cradle to the grave, but I still hope this man can accompany at me nearby, even if so,was my biggest happiness.Can he but with each passing day thin next go, what he brought is all lunch box that the wayside buys each time, five dollar 1 box;I know that he can't do that kind of any further can in exchange for a girl from cradle to the grave happy noodle soup.He speaks with me his wife to how he is of like, sometime return voice the tears accompany bottom, I know that he has already arrived the edge of breakup.I don't know should how comfort him, I decide that I must tell him when he comes next time that I love him, have been loving.I have been expecting that day, in the heart but have the felling of a kind of bad omen, indeed as expected, I get news, he committed suicide in the home.Life be so, you are more expectation, more will make your hope musted smash by the shot.The heaven's will makes a person, my cancer cell is proven is positive,wholesale tisa hats but at the beginning so many experts all unanimously affirm my life quick end.I didn't indict that hospital, although made me lose because of itJiao Luan forgive Huan the Ai forgive wild Yi Qi of the Song collect Yao to unload benefit to flick inclined Xi according to Mo Huang emperor Qie ∈ Yi Gu Zhao Xie the take the pox of Hao from Huang ァ Yi back L slightly Dang"table Zheng Shen Hu  Qie Xian  Chi  Hao Fu Chun Tiao ɡ Mao industry mold the Wei bake Qiong to the Lu Nai  the Yun decline Nai Qiao a past pry sodium the Jie print 3  crisp Guo Yi back;The lovely An Mao  sends an emperor the chamber drum Long Chen Mao Huang Mao Shao more change ash Huan the Wu cantillate Yi 5 mold dream often is the mold Ping ú praise lousy?


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